In Retrospect...

I just posted essentially the same thing as my last post. Good grief, pregnancy brain.

Theme! YAY!

I'm not sure if I posted this or not, but we've picked our nursery theme officially: FOREST! I didn't want to do the traditional "blue and soccer balls/baseballs/footballs" thing for our little Tommy. I found this great decal mural of a tree with an owl, squirrel, etc and showed Eric, who loved it too! We got it, and then today I shopped around online and found the PERFECT bedding set. So it's look like it will be green, tan, brown, blue, and all of that good stuff! It makes me happy, because it will be different from the norm. Right now, the neutral boy "in" look seems to be "Jungle"...not a huge fan.

My stepmother is amazing, I have to say. She straight up volunteered out of nowhere to buy us our stroller! When I told her what stroller we wanted, I let her know that it's a little bit pricey so she doesn't have to do it. Her response? OF COURSE she'd get it, and would we mind if she got us the pack and play as well? SUCH a relief.

We also bought our breast pump this week with a giftcard we received for Christmas. I got the Medela Pump In Style on the recommendation of nurses AND Jesscah. Expensive, but I'm stoked. I'm nervous that baby won't be able to latch since my nipples are so small, and I REALLY want to breastfeed. This might be the key for me.

All that's left in terms of big purchases would be the infant carseat/carrier, the bouncer, the swing, the diaper genie, and the mattress/crib set.

Can't believe how nicely it's all going :)

Nursery Time

So now we can get serious about the nursery, which is awesome. My stepmom is amazing and took a huge weight off of our shoulders by getting us our city mini stroller AND our pack and play, my dad is reimbursing us for the crib and glider, and Eric's parents are getting us our dresser. PHEW. Our last BIG purchases will be the breast pump, infant carrier (the convertible can wait until Eric is home next November), and any swing/bouncer we choose to get. This is a HUGE relief.

Now that we know Tommy/Teddy (I'm partial to Teddy! I know he's not Theodore, but Thomas Edward just naturally seems to lend itself to Teddy) is a Tommy/Teddy, we can decorate more. I'm not doing blues and all the obvious "Boy" things...we're going for a foresty theme. Hundred Acre Wood without Pooh Bear! We have a lot of owl paraphernalia that I'd like to use, and the bathroom is already green with part one of the quirky owl paintings. We've decided on this gorgeous tree mural decal because painting isn't realistic what with us moving within three years. Thankfully, there is a lot of green stuff out there because of gender neutrality, so shopping should be easy. I already have one set of crib sheets (thank you, USAF!), so I'll add a bunch more and the bumper once we find one. Bumpers make me nervous, but it's better than NOT having one in my opinion. I know they make breathable bumpers now, so I'll have to shop around.

Aaaaaaaanyway. Off to work on the registry some more. Almost done! Is it tacky to share the link on fb? I have so many friends and family that are scattered across the country, I feel like that's the best way to get it around without sending stupid direct emails like "hey, here's my registry. I'm selfish."

Hrm.

It's a Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thomas Edward Kowalski, we can't wait to meet you :)

17w2d

How far along? 17 weeks and 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: lots. let's not talk about that.

Maternity clothes? sweats. I LOVE SWEATS.

Sleep: I sleep heavily now. I can never get enough.

Best moment this week: finding the heartbeat on the home doppler the moment I turned it on :)

Movement: LOTS!

Food cravings: cheesesteak

Gender: I still want to say girl, but I'm honestly not sure anymore! Happy no matter what :)

What I miss: wine

What I am looking forward to: finding out the gender in a week!

Weekly Wisdom: naps might be something to look into

Milestones: easy doppler use and clear movement

What Do We Do? We SWIM!

Peanut is going to be the next Michael Phelps at this rate...SO MUCH movement today! He or she has also switched sides in the uterus, so now the doppler picks up the hb on the right side instead of the left. It was so strong and clear tonight, and Eric watched the doppler top out at 153 bpm :)

Everyone keeps saying that it's a girl; I'm not sure anymore. I think the only reason I'm doubting my initial instincts is because the ultrasound technician changed her vote to boy at the very last possible second during the NT scan. Now I have no idea what I'm having!

16 weeks 4 days

I'm so slacking on this thing. Ok, so an update! Baby is awesome, and moving around like nobody's business...I feel him or her all the time, fluttering away. Sometimes the movements are MUCH stronger. This little Peanut is going to give me some serious grief once the kicks become bigger.

Speaking of him/her, we will be finding out the sex of our Peanut on December 19th! For those keeping track...12 days! It's unbelievable :) How can we really be nearly halfway? Unreal, and I'm so thankful for every moment.

The sciatic pain is really dying down now, just like the doc predicted it would. The round ligament pain (RLP) is still present and especially so in the area of the past cyst pain. I find that weird, but whatever. If there were something amiss, we would have caught it on the 8 bazillion ultrasounds that I've had already.

Anyhoo, I've finally been able to find Peanut's heartbeat on the home doppler and I've been able to find it consistently at that! 158 bpm last time I was able to look at the number. It's amazing, and I got a recording. Press play, and baby's heartbeat begins at 0:26...before that is mine, for contrast:

We put the crib and glider together the other night...I'll post pics soon. It's really coming together in there.

Time to go eat!

My Little Boxer

Peanut was jabbing and kicking today! I felt REAL kicks for the first time while I was sitting in my baby class on base...it was so exciting! I couldn't believe it. Two or three little punches up top and one BIG kick down below.

It's absolutely amazing.

Judging You.

As somebody in a healthy relationship, with savings and a budget and two well cared for animals (with emergency money AND check ups at the vet!), I feel the need to say this.

I know somebody who is too broke to keep a dog but has three anyway (after debating giving one away that she bought on a whim because she couldn't afford it, she decided to buy ANOTHER), who usually has ten dollars or LESS in her bank account (there are no savings) because she has NO IDEA how to budget, nor does she care to...and who is now trying to conceive. I swear, I used to have faith in the human race...but good grief, when did we start to breed them this stupid? Most of the time we shouldn't judge, but this has "disaster" written all over it.

This is seriously DISTURBING.

Flutterby

I felt the Peanut moving around two nights ago, right when I got into bed to go to sleep. It was this strange little flutter, like somebody was tickling me from the inside. It was very brief, and I'm very sure that it wasn't gas or the like.

How cool is that?

This is all real for me, finally <3

Whoo Hoo, NT Scan!

We had our NT screening yesterday, and it was fantastic! The baby is amazing...and was moving around soooo much! It was so weird to see him or her stretching out like a little human being, and then to think that he or she is currently in my tummy doing that. Out of this world.

The tech was at first convinced that the baby is a girl...but changed her mind at the last minute. So we really still have no clue, and will have to wait until our anatomy scan between 18-20 weeks. I'm hoping to schedule that before Christmas. Anyway, here are some pictures of baby from the screening!

Pain

Constant, unceasing pain. That is my life lately.

During the day, I feel like I got kicked in the crotch. Quite literally, it feels like the front of my groin area is one big pulled muscle. As the day progresses into evening, my back begins to hurt so badly that it's hard to walk. It's hard to move when I'm laying down, even just to point a toe.

I'm having a lot of trouble reconciling with the fact that this could go on for the remainder of the pregnancy. I know that I'll power through it, somehow, but I don't like being the person who has everything wrong with them. Eventually, it sounds like I'm whining or overreacting. "Oh, her pain can't be THAT bad, she's just being a baby!"...NO. I don't ever complain about aches and pains. This inhibits me from WALKING.

I needed to rant.

11w6d!

How far along? 11 weeks and 6 days

Total weight gain/loss: I'm in denial. I have a blump on top of my bump, though! stupid weight gain is ALL in my tummy area.

Maternity clothes? yes, finally. SO comfy.

Sleep: Strange...night sweats lately, just about every other night. Can't lie on my back anymore because of the pelvic pain.

Best moment this week: waking up pain free this morning!

Movement: nopers

Food cravings: turkey subs and 5 guys

Gender: Not sure anymore!

What I miss: walking without pain

What I am looking forward to: NT scan next week!

Weekly Wisdom: Snoogle, I love you

Milestones: end of the first trimester! YAY!

Before I Forget...

Peanut has a face!

They performed an ultrasound to check out my cyst, which is causing me EXTREME pain.

Next time we see the baby will be in ten days at our NT scan!

A Handful of Quick Updates!

I have to get Sookie to the groomer pretty soon, but some updates on life here in Wichita!

I have my NT screening scheduled for November 10th, which is great. I (hopefully WE!) will get to see the baby again, and once again be reassured that everything is ok. If we're being honest, I could care less about the results of the screening. I highly doubt that my child will have downs or trisomy 13 or anything like that, but even if so, I would not terminate the pregnancy because of it. I scheduled this because it's covered by my insurance and I'm paranoid about the health of my baby. I probably won't stop being paranoid until he or she is safely delivered!

After that, I will have my second official OBGYN appointment on the 14th of November, and this time we will actually meet Doctor Breit! I'm excited for that, and I hope she's really nice. I'm nervous going into this not being familiar with the practice, but so far it seems amazing. I will need to tour Wellesly (sp.? I should find this out) and Via Christi to decide where I want to give birth, so I can let them know. I doubt I'll pick Via Christi. I'm hoping to explore my options with Jessie while she's here. Anyway, we will also get to hear the baby's heartbeat (as opposed to SEEING it), for the first time at this appointment! Well, that might not be ENTIRELY true...

...because Eric gave in and let me buy a fetal heart doppler online yesterday :) When it arrives, we will be able to hear the baby's heartbeat whenever we want for the rest of the pregnancy! I'm hoping we can pick it up on the doppler right away, but I'm only going to be 10 weeks on Saturday, so it MAY be early. Who knows!

So Jessie is coming to visit on November 17th (seriously, November is a super FULL month for me...I have another mommy to be class the day after she leaves!)...I'm seriously hoping we get to the Sedgwick County Zoo and check out some of the museums in the area, as well as scope out the hospitals. And on that note, it's time to get Sookie into the car and get her nails trimmed!

8w5d

How far along? 8 weeks and 5 days

Total weight gain/loss: a whole lot. Ten pounds, which is mostly bloat (this is the first time in my life that I can see the bloat and recognize bloat vs. fat)...I also blame quitting smoking.

Maternity clothes? nopers, still using the BeBand to help with jeans and bloat

Sleep: Too much

Best moment this week: seeing the baby for the first time!

Movement: no, but I saw baby move!

Food cravings: cheese and ice cream and BAGELS

Gender: I still feel like it's a girl.

What I miss: being able to go to the bathroom like a normal person.

What I am looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat on the doppler in November :)

Weekly Wisdom: corpus luteum is more painful than that time I ripped my thumbnail off

Milestones: still pregnant (!!!), and saw the baby!

Random Thoughts...

...while my iPhone updates to iOS 5. Yes, I was super excited for the update and yes, I waited two days to do it. I AM THAT LAZY THESE DAYS.

Not TOO much to update you on. The ultrasound put me at such ease. I know the risk of miscarriage is still there, but the chance of carrying to full term after hearing a healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks (and seeing a baby that is growing on schedule!) is something like 96%. I will take those odds, thank you!

My next appointment is on November 14th, right before Jessa gets here. Won't be doing another ultrasound (unless this cyst is still here and still hurting...more on that in a sec), but she'll do the doppler at each appointment to hear the heartbeat. I was too early for the doppler to pick anything up when we went (8 weeks along, doppler won't pick up until at LEAST 10 weeks...although I've heard of rare occasions where it happens). I'm excited to meet the doc at that appointment! I don't think Eric will be able to make it (or most of them, though he swears he can...I know it'll be hard for him to get the time off)...but that's ok! Mostly, I just want him to be at the ones with the ultrasounds so he can see the baby. He was so cute when he saw it this last time. :)

Now about this cyst. FUCK this cyst. It's not even that big (the sonographer checked it out for me while we were there)...but sweet baby Jesus, it is killing me with pain. It hurts at the place where my thigh connects to my torso and upwards just a little bit, and now it radiates into my VERY lower back (like the top of the butt cheek. Hell, maybe even a little bit of the cheek.)...I don't know what aggravates it. I wish I did. Because last night and the night before, I've had to limp to the bathroom to pee at night before bed...it's like it holds off until the sun goes down and then BAM! PAIN!

Well, on the bright side, it SHOULD be just about ready to reabsorb. They say usually by ten weeks, the body is ready to produce the hormones needed on its own and the cyst can start to go away. I'll be 9 weeks on Eric's birthday (this Saturday!), so that's one step closer!

Introducing Baby Bean!

We are out of hiding, 8w2d into pregnancy! Had our first GYN appointment today and was sent for a sonogram to accurately date the pregnancy...turns out we are one day ahead of where we thought we were!

Words can not express what it was like to see the baby moving around on that screen. It was absolutely surreal. The heartbeat (169!) was SO COOL. It looked like this tiny little strobe light, flashing about. I can't believe it...it's real now. I saw my baby!

And here he or she is!

Faux-secco?

So I LOVE Canada Dry Diet Ginger Ale. We ran out yesterday, and during our hot dog run we picked up a bottle of Seagram's Diet Ginger Ale to hold me over until we could go to commissary for the Canadian stuff.

It tastes SO DIFFERENT. I'm not such a big fan. HOWEVER (and this is a big however), it tastes slightly alcoholic to me. I'm not stupid; I am well aware that there is absolutely NO alcohol in this stuff...but maybe if I put it in a wine glass, I'll feel better? Mmm hmm, that's my plan for later. It looks like prosecco and it fools my tastebuds.

Fun New Things About Me

My tastes are changing every single second.

Tonight I craved hot dogs. BADLY. I was already in my pajamas. My saint of a husband drove all the way to Dillon's with me (the commissary was already closed) and we picked up hot dogs and other goodies :)

I'm loving string cheese...I think the whole pulling it apart thing might be cathartic or something. I don't have to push myself to eat them, which is a nice change. Diet Ginger Ale has been fantastic, but I'm wary about introducing soda back into my life. Not that it was completely gone, but I definitely wasn't stocking my house with it. But it helps with the nausea, so it stays for now.

Ritz crackers and cheddar help to fill me up with little to no effort, which is good. Lean Cuisine pepperoni pizzas are still awesome! I can handle burgers from Wendy's and Applebees, but NOT from Burger King and the thought of a Spangles burger makes me nauseous (which is sad, because I liked Spangles).

The worst thing, though, is my new aversion to the smell of cooked chicken. KILL ME. I can NOT handle it. AT ALL. And seriously, I love chicken. It's so good for you, and so low in fat, and so easy to prepare in numerous ways and WAAAAAAAH. :(

Anyway, another new fun symptom arrived today: painful constipation.

What nobody told me about constipation is that it can mean more than just a giant turd blocking everything up. Oh nooooo. No sir. What I've got is a slowing-down of my digestive tract, which essentially means that all my little turdlets are hard as rock. So it doesn't matter how small they are, they cause my butt some serious ouchies every time I have to go.

Just now I passed a clot. Out of my butt. I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A MISCARRIAGE. But no...it came out of my butt.

I guess the Metamucil isn't going to be enough...Colace, here I come!

6 Weeks :)

How far along? 6 weeks and 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: no clue. but i'm eating like a pig and bloated as hell.

Maternity clothes? not yet...I did get a BeBand for the bloat though, so my jeans will still be comfy. and i live in my pajamas.

Sleep: sleep <3

Best moment this week: eric being sweet

Movement: not that i can feel

Food cravings: MEAT. and cheese.

Gender: i feel like it's a girl. which means it's a boy.

What I miss: cigarettes, wine, and coffee...and not having acid reflux EVERY NIGHT.

What I am looking forward to: hearing a heartbeat

Weekly Wisdom: no ice cream. NO ICE CREAM.

Milestones: still pregnant...and morning sickness.

Argh.

All I have to do is pee, every five minutes.

Oh and morning sickness? It feels like being hungover, except you never really got to enjoy the party.

I don't want to complain too much, though. I'm really thankful for this pregnancy.

The peeing thing is taking a lot of getting used to, though!

Whoever Named This Morning Sickness...

...should be slapped.

it's freaking 4pm and I wanna hurl. It quietly crept up on my at around noon today. It slowly made its presence more and more known. AND NOW I WANT TO PUKE.

Good God

Holy balls, morning sickness...where the eff did you come from?????

Out of nowhere at like 1:30pm, I got a little dizzy and i've been nauseous ever since. Being a genius, I decided to pick up some Burger King for a late lunch after going to the commissary. The burger tasted like poop. POOP. Luckily, I can still stomach the fries. I scarfed those babies down like it was my job.

So now I'm just sitting here in a state of perpetual nausea. The dishes in the sink are killing me. I really hope this isn't a 24/7 thing :(

E.R. Veteran

In the past year, I have been in the emergency room three times. The first two times were at the Princeton ER, once for acid reflux and a second time for unrelenting nausea. Tonight I went to the Christian hospital in Wichita (the one McConnell uses for its guys...five minutes away), because we suspected an ectopic pregnancy.

Long story short, the pain near my right ovary got REALLY bad tonight. I had assumed it was a cyst, but this pain was scary. Coupled with the brown spotting a few days ago, and I was convinced that my pregnancy was tubal.

My saint of a husband hopped into the car with me and we headed to Via Christi, where I was poked and prodded for hours on end. I had an external and internal ultrasound, and they took my blood more times than I can count. It was exhausting.

Everything worked out well at the end of the day though...it was just my Corpus Luteum cyst! For those who don't know, it's the cyst that every woman gets when she gets pregnant...not everyone can feel it, but all of us have it. Basically, it nurtures your baby for the first ten weeks of pregnancy. Mine is bigger than my last cyst, at a whopping 2 cm (haha) and it hurts like a biznatch.

My baby bean is in my uterus, exactly where it should be :) I did not get to see it, as the doc says it's itty bitty on the ultrasound picture at 5 weeks, but he saw the sac and all and is happy. My beta levels are at about 5500! WOO HOO! The relief that I feel right now is AMAZING. For the first time, I'm starting to feel confidant about this pregnancy.

Just keep sticking, little bean <3

In the Clear..I Think?

NO spotting today. At all. Slight cramping came back early evening, but nothing to write home about.

Acid reflux has returned as of about 30 minutes ago. YAY.

I feel more pain today (and late last night) from what I suspect is the corpus luteum cyst. It's on the right side, directly where my last ovarian cyst is. I keep scaring myself into thinking it's an ectopic pregnancy.

I think I'm just convinced that something will go wrong. It's like I can't sit back and relax and be happy being pregnant; I'm convinced that there won't be a baby in 9 months. How awful is that? I want to enjoy this. I think (hope) that my first ultrasound will give me that peace of mind, but who knows when that will be. I'm not sure they're going to do it at my October tenth appointment.

ETA: 5 days smoke free :)

ETA

Spotting has stopped, for now. I'm still really, really, REALLY freaked out by it.

Here's hoping it was a one time thing. Unfortunately it's the weekend, so I'll have to wait until Monday to call my OBGYN if it presents itself again :(

Blech.

Spotting is no fun, and it's nerve wracking. I think I'm only confident because it was brownish in color and I'm not having any cramps today. UGH. I want it to go away though. It's never happened before!

A River Runs Through It

Good God, I have to pee every five minutes today.

Crampy McTiredPants

My reflux has left me (for now)!!! Two nights of peaceful, deep sleep. Fantastic. :)

I've been experiencing mild cramping on and off for a few days. At first I was entirely freaked out by it, but now I'm pretty much calm. It's normal. As long as it's not severe, I'm fine! Honestly, I keep expecting to go to the bathroom, wipe, and see my period. SUCH an odd sensation.

I'm getting sleepier, but nowhere near the fatigue from last time...yet. I'm sure that'll arrive in a few days. I AM sleeping more deeply (when pain doesn't interrupt me), and my dreams have been super vivid since the moment I tested positive. At least I stopped talking in my sleep!

The worst right now would be the boobies. OUCH. Holy crap, they KILL in the morning. And my nipples are the worst part...the bra hurts them. I'm sure this will come and go.

Anyway, that's really it. Nothing too exciting to report! I have my first OBGYN appointment on October 10th at 10am...yup, 10/10 at 10. My doctor is Susan Breit down by the Waterfront center...the doc on base told me good things about the practice. So here's hoping!

Til next time.

Reflux This.

I've been awake since 5am with the worst reflux I've had in a long while. I had to take three Nexiums to feel any relief. Eff this, there has to be some magical fix!

Well hello there

I'm 4 weeks pregnant, and nobody knows it. Ok...I'm using the word "nobody" loosely here. My husband (clearly) knows, as do three of my closest friends. And that's all folks! We're going to tell our parents at the 8 or 10 week mark, and everybody else at 12-13 weeks.

Basically, we caught the eggy right when it appeared. I was testing clearly positive 6 days before my period was due, which means I'm obviously an early ovulator (I tend to have 28-29 day cycles...so we're talking like cycle day 8 or 9). My last period began the day after I arrived in Kansas and ended a few days before Eric got here. All in all, we got very lucky. This will be our homecoming baby :)

I will not lie...I'm terrified of losing this pregnancy. It's like they want pregnant women to fear miscarriage, I swear. All the information on the net and in the books is basically there to induce panic. I know that it's all meant to be helpful, but good Lord. I'm only starting to relinquish the pee sticks. My husband, who was amused at my insistence on taking two tests a day all week, has no idea that I'm still testing once a day. I'm down to my last internet cheapie pee stick...meep.

In order to calm my mind, I've given up caffeine...at least until the second trimester. I will enjoy my daily small cup at that point. I've obviously given up alcohol. And here's the biggie: I quit smoking today, cold turkey. I WANT TO CRY. It's not so bad, though...I had already cut back significantly and that was half the battle. The next two days are going to be hard, though.

Now as for symptoms, mine are pretty basic. Fatigue, though today has been considerably better than the past week. Breast tenderness, which was at it's worst so far today. The most horrible symptom of all? CONSTANT ACID REFLUX. Seriously. I want to scream. The Nexium (which is a class b drug, and perfectly safe for me to take) works, but only in twice the amount I usually take. And honestly, sometimes it doesn't work. All I can do is lean to the left and sleep on my left. I have a sinking feeling that this will be around for the long haul.

Anyway, time for bed. I get to go to the med center tomorrow for my vitals and a referral! Which of course translates to "Wait two months to see a Gyno and hyperventilate about your pregnancy for every single day in between" but heeeeey, it's something.